surprise young zebras

a few thoughts are swirling in my head today.

1- I was playing with some little kids, and it reminded me. In elementary school, we'd sit for hours drawing maps of imaginary lands and pretending to be all these amazing people. I'd be the queen and he'd be the king. or some days, i'd be the king and he'd be the queen. and we'd climb trees and play this game we'd call snowland. we had to collect jewels from faucets while avoiding the evil Mr. and Mrs. Parcheesi. And at the end we had to go to *scary wiggling fingers* the downstairs bathroom. And there was nothing beyond the moment, and that was nice.
2- a thought process on surprise: i used to hate surprises. i wanted to know everything that was going to happen, because surprises gave me anxiety. by the end of high school though, surprises were good. they meant something new was going to happen, and i like new things. i like to surprise people, with happy little things; they make life more bearable, you know? and i try. i also seem to be the one to initiate friendships. one friendship, for example, i very assertively initiated, and it became my dearest. and at the same time, i think i was falling in love,
for a long time. in seminar and on the phone, and every day more. and last week, all the non-platonic elements disappeared. my heart doesn't race, i don't dream about her. it's a long fall, and a lonely one.
i started that friendship, and it's good. i need to tell that story more often, maybe it will start to make sense. anyways, i usually start things. but i'm getting tired. when i ask to be friends, there's no surprises. i don't know why people don't seem to make the first effort any more. maybe cause i beat them to it. maybe cause i'm not very exciting. they never do, though. but maybe someday someone will surprise me.
3- today i had something said to me I'd never heard before-- "Hey, I'm sorry I stuck a zebra up your nose"