Tuesday, January 13, 2009

these yesterdays

she used to wrap flowers round her head
grab a stick
cast spells on her momma
(they usually worked)
and before bed she'd have to sing
chad a lullaby so he'd close his plastic eyes
and (sometimes)
sleep through the night
she'd talk, as the teacher (herself)
gave assignments to the students (herself)
sometimes she was an runaway, living
for "weeks" off mushrooms growing
in the couch-cave she hid in
she was scared on those days
(and relieved when after such an adventure,
mom had made tortillas and beans for dinner)
for years she ran a library in the closet
(there were more scanners than books)

not pretending (it was the truth)
since believing was all she wanted

now
she kisses the shower wall every time
ever so gently
but it is cold on her lips
when she is falling asleep she
hugs a pillow to her stomach
but it's only cotton
all the way through

these days she doesn't believe the pretending
(she can't wear a shadow life for long)

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