Monday, May 4, 2009

fuck your life, give me mine back

For two years I suddenly was different from everyone else. That felt good. It started one day and I knew everything even if I was ignorant. And I was bigger and stronger than before, and everyone was beautiful. And I loved and believed in a way no one ever had before. Everything shone, and it stayed that way and somehow I started thinking it always would. But somehow I'm finding that I'm just like all the others. I wonder if this place is turning me into someone I don't want to be. Because I don't like this girl half so much as the other one. Is this a window into the future or just a detour? Can I choose the other girl or is this one what I'm stuck with? Is self-interested pessimism sneaking up on me? Can I love them all as much as I thought I could?
I also realized I don't believe in fairies anymore. I am so totally not okay with this; it scares me.
(uh oh i'm loosing my grasp on myself again)

1 comment:

Olivia said...

I love you. I believe in you.