i am not your solution

i am not, cannot be, your solution.
i do not fit in the hole your sadness
leaves, my kisses can never seal
cracks as much as i'd like them to (i won't even try).
if you are grasping frantically
with your eyes closed
for something to smother your fears
your fingers won't find me.
first of all, i don't smother,
and i will dodge your wild swings.
i can learn to put you back together
alongside as you learn it, but not too close.
i'd like to give you strength as you
keep moving through the scary parts
of cradling yourself.
but i am not the glue that will stick you back together.
the glue must be made of your own will,
and of the care but not just care for me,
that can't be strong enough.
i cannot be your solution, because
i want to mean more than that.
not a patch to mend your tears but a chalice for caring.
i will not be someone who redefines you,
since you are one who undefines me.
i won't be another short-term cure
i love you too much for that shit.
if you ever tried to use me to forget,
i'd be sure to remind you all the time,
i can't be an until or an experiment. i can't be a toy
to make you laugh if i can't also come and go as i please
and i can't ever do that when you reach with fear.
are you looking in all the wrong places
or are you in the right place
and just confused about what you're looking for?
look for a friend or a shooting star
i could be a whisper
and an open ear
but i will never be your solution.